The opinions that no one asked for — Season 2 of Indian Matchmaking
Namaste, I am Jayanti from Brisbane (formerly known as Jayanti from Vashi) and I am here to channel my inner Sima Aunty and do a massive opinion dump. This is the first opinion dump of a series I am doing called “The opinions that no one asked for” so I better make it special by talking about our beloved Sima Aunty. Now, hopefully at this point of time if you don’t know who Sima Aunty is, you are probably a person with a meaningful life, who doesn’t watch trashy Netflix shows called “Indian Matchmaking”, so good on you! But this article is for those who have binged Season 2 of Indian Matchmaking. So here it goes:
Opinion #1 Sima Aunty is right about the 60–70% — I don’t say this in a way to make single people sad or feel like they need to compromise because it is not a compromise and unfortunately Sima Aunty makes it sound like it. I have dated some men who were 100% what I wanted, but they -30000% of what I needed in life. I wanted someone who was emotional and deep etc but those people, just like me, were equally troubled or depressed in the same way that I was! I probably needed someone who troubled in other ways — like a nice combination of 30% autistic, 10% cranky with 40% loving and also 10000% very good at adulting. It takes a while before we realize that what we want may not necessarily be good for us. And of course, marriages may still break like biscuits, which is totally fine because no one has figured out their shit in life.
Opinion #2 Most people on this show (and everywhere else) need a Therapist Aunty more than a Sima Aunty — If they are willing to speak about their traumas on Netflix, surely they would be open to speaking about them to a therapist, off camera, in private? Sima Aunty may offer good services but she is not a therapist and she has some seriously regressive thoughts that she has expressed — about single mothers, women dating younger men etc. I know a lot of lovely aunties with regressive ideologies and sometimes they may offer unsolicited advise, not because they are typically evil but because they have never studied psychology and don’t know any better! A psychologist goes to university to actually learn about human behavior to help people so it makes more sense to pay them to help us deal with our emotional problems.
Opinion #3 We are more racist than we think — I am not talking about the people on the show necessarily but about everyone of us. Arshneel was navigating through dealing with Rinkle and her “Indian accent and mannerisms”. I have been in a very similar situation where someone dumped me (in a very unhealthy way) and they couldn’t pin it at anything in particular about me that they did not find attractive, but it was rather a similar thought process, of how different we (the Indian Indians) are from them (the Indians born and raised in western countries). After taking it personally, and being depressed about having an Indian accent, I realized how racist I had been when I made fun of the accents of other Indians (particularly vernacular Marathi ones) very brutally. It is not something particularly evil but it is in built, subconscious racism that resides within us. We may keep trying to be “nice people” but subconsciously we may end up hurting people more by doing so. Wouldn’t it be better to acknowledge that we are racist inherently and let go of people we don’t find attractive (unfortunately for superficial reasons) instead of trying to be a good person and hurting them more eventually?
Opinion #4 Men with dad bods who want fit hotties need to WAKE UP — Seriously, wake. up. Rather than looks, bodies and physical attraction (things which will change drastically over a period of time), have they ever considered reflecting on their values? Perhaps fitness is a big value in their life and they see being physically strong and healthy as a priority in their own life. It is valid then to seek someone with similar values as them (although values also may change over a period of time). If you want candy in your arm go to a candy shop. People are not objects that can be “designed” (in his words). RANT. OVER. Phew.
If you are one of my 13 followers and you have reached here, I want sincerely thank you for giving me your precious time and reading this. Feel free to rant and dump your opinions on my opinion dump and reach out to me if you want to hear my opinions on any other subject.
