The Scintallating Shrink Search
An FAQ guide to finding your soul therapist
After the recent bringing back of our therapy post on instagram by my lovely Instagram friend Pranita Kocharekar (@pranitart), my DM’s were flooding and I decided to contribute my two cents of literature in the pool of information on mental health existing out there. Like Pranita said, finding a therapist is indeed a personal journey and can be a story in itself (just like it was for me), but soon enough from the feedback I got, I realised the problem may not necessarily be in seeking help, but rather with not knowing how. Here are some FAQs answered that may assist you with finding your ‘match’.
- Is it safe to find a therapist online? What should I google?
I currently live in Australia, and I find it very safe to google ‘therapist near me’ to find one. However, if you live in India or anywhere else where you are skeptical about doing this, it is best to do a thorough study of the reviews before going to see the therapist. Another efficient way is to find a form of therapy that seems convincing or appeals to you and find a therapist who does that particular form of therapy. Practo gives trustworthy results and organisations such as Beyond Blue offer assistance in finding help.
2. How do I know what form of therapy is the best for me?
Word of mouth is one way to explore. I learnt about EMDR through someone I was dating and saw the effects of it for myself. Similarly my friends saw the change in me, and now discussions about therapy are a part of my social life. However, it is completely understandable if people in your circle don’t speak about therapy or seek help, if that is the case then your answer lies in research! I know the internet is dark and full of information but remember to turn on the lights. Also trust your therapist, they want to help and will likely know what forms of therapy (that they are confident in using) will work on you.
3. What are some forms of therapy out there?
From my experience, research and passion about mental health, I am aware that talking and behavioral therapies such as CBT are commonly used. However, more rapid forms of therapies that deal with the cause and triggers such as EMDR and hypnotherapy now exist that are more neuroscientifically oriented. You can do your own research, see what convinces you and ask your therapist or find therapists who do those things. These things usually don’t have any side effects so it is worth trying and exploring for yourself. Every person is different and a therapist knows the best combination of what they do and what could possibly work best for your issues.
4. I am skeptical about seeking help, because what if the therapist gives me bad advice/judges me and makes it worse?
This is possible, but doesn’t necessarily happen. I was dragged to a counselor by surprise when my aunt took me to see someone to ‘cure my problem’ of being unmarried. Here’s the thing- therapy only works when you seek help and are willing to bring about a change that you believe is necessary for you. Also the therapist may not be judging you, but if that’s what you perceive even to the slightest extent, then go find a new one. If you try to unlock with the wrong key, no amount of force will work. The key is to find the right key and there’s nothing wrong with trying out a few.
5. How do I know I have found “The One”?
As non scientific as this may sound, I see having a positive gut feeling as the ultimate thing in deciding on a therapist. People also seem to get the most out of their therapy sessions when they are convinced that they are not being judged when they begin therapy. Therapy isn’t just about feeling comfortable and being able to open up but also about being able to think differently and process emotions better than before. It’s a lot less about getting advice on what you should be doing as opposed to how you should be thinking, so if you find a change in your thinking patterns and a sense of liberation then you’ve found the one! Don’t settle for anything less.
6. Do I have to find a therapist? Why I can’t I just talk to a friend and save all the money?
Sure. If your friends are talented enough, they could also pull out your tooth, do a heart surgery, defend your case in court, make you a website or clean your house? I mean do you REALLY need a dentist, a heart surgeon, a lawyer, a web designer or a cleaner? You can save soooo much money that way. Think about it. Okay, jokes aside, therapist these days do soooo much more than just talking! Arthur C. Clarke said “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” Neuroscience and behaviour science has brought us these technologies and they are way beyond ‘just talking’.
7. How do I know I need a therapist?
To me this isn’t really black and white but rather a massive grey patch that could begin and end anywhere. You don’t have to wait until you’re chronically depressed or having an anxiety attack. If you catch a cold and don’t get better anytime soon, you see a doctor, similarly if you go through a breakup and find it difficult to deal with life, you could always seek help. While common colds and break ups are all very normal and considered to be a part of life, knowing that professional help is available is reassuring in itself. Another important consideration (which personally brought me to therapy) was recognising a pattern, surprisingly a concept I picked up from a Bollywood movie! If you feel rejected, lost, loser-ish, hopeless, abandoned over and over again it might be a good idea to question your thinking as opposed to your circumstances.
8. I shift base very often, what should I do?
A lot of forms of therapy that involve just talking can be done online. I sometimes find comfort in simply sending an email to my therapist. Also, newer technology allows hypnotherapy and other forms of therapy to be done through videocalls or online training. Depends on how confident your therapist is and how receptive you are. Worst case, you embark on a new therapist finding journey and have a new story to tell! That’s always something to look forward to.
My conclusive word is that life doesn’t simply ‘happen’ to you, but rather is a mental construct. You can shape this mental construct with the clay of your thoughts. Alter your construct, make your life, change your perspective rather than waiting for the circumstances to change. Allow seeking help to manage your thoughts and emotions and enjoy the joyride of therapy!
